Disciplined

I went on a job interview this one time and my interviewer asked me what drove me. What got me out of bed in the morning?

“Habit?” I responded, nailing the lid on the coffin of that job opportunity.

I spent that afternoon obsessing over analyzing my response. It was an honest answer. I’m not filled with passion for accounting standards when my alarm goes off. If I hadn’t been flummoxed by my waaaay too literal brain’s complete inability to come up with a more appropriate response I may have been able to save myself by explaining that I’m really very philosophical about habits. I think about them. I actively try to make them good ones. I ask myself if my habits are helping. I use use them as a tool to try to make life’s necessary tasks as pleasant and brainless as possible.

As someone who bangs on about making clothes you might might be surprised that I  hate deciding what wear each morning. I do like sewing . I do not like dressing.

Enter the work uniform. Or: the habitual wardrobe.

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So professional!
Pattern: Farrow Dress by Grainline Studios
Fabric: Chambray? I’m a terrible sewing enthusiast who forgets to make notes.

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I’ll blather on some other time about how a vision for my ideal work wardrobe coalesced. Suffice for now to say that I have a vision and one of my goals for 2019 is to create it. If successful, instead of feeling vexed or vaguely annoyed by having to decide again what to wear to work I’ll open my closet and mindlessly pick from a variety of similar-but-different dresses that strike the right balance between comfort and business casual.

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Later, as I continued to let my idea of habit marinate over a few weeks, I realized that I had developed a habit of thinking of myself as “habitual” and it really bringing me down. Boring. Uncreative. It lacked agency. I decided to re-frame how I talk and think about myself. I am not habitual. I am disciplined.

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